


Per Manum

by scullywolf



Series: TXF: Scenes in Between [180]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Dana Scully's year-long Pregnancy, F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, Mulder's stupid brain disease thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-01-23 01:03:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullywolf/pseuds/scullywolf
Summary: Three in-between scenes from Per Manum, all from the “present day” parts of this episode. (I wrote ficlets for two of the flashback scenes and set them in Season 7. You can find themhereandhere.) Part one: Immediately after Scully and Doggett first meet Duffy Haskell. Part two: After Scully drags Doggett out in the middle of the night to tell him she's "taking a leave of absence." Part three: Post-episode angst.





	1. Chapter 1

_“I wasn’t exactly clear on what you wanted to do about this guy Haskell. About his wife’s story.”  
“There’s nothing to do.”_

He stands there for a moment staring at the elevator doors. Nothing to do? When she’s running out of here like a spooked animal, not five minutes after arriving for the day, and carrying evidence off with her, to boot?

It just doesn’t make a damned bit of sense.

In all the time they’ve worked together, he’s never known Scully to be outright dismissive of a case. Analytical, yes. Varying degrees of skeptical, sure. But dismissive? This is a first, and it’s setting off all kinds of alarm bells in his head.

Hasn’t she been the one, since the beginning, always telling him to keep an open mind? Meanwhile she shut right down the moment Duffy Haskell mentioned doctors and pulled out that ultrasound photo, sending him away with what amounted to a “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” He’s never seen anything like it, not from her. It’s unsettling, to say the least.

And then there was the way she got upset that he knew her history. It’s not like he went up to HR and got her personnel file or anything. He told her almost from day one that he’s read just about every case file in the office. Only thing he can figure is that maybe she didn’t realize that was one of the ones that was restored after the fire, didn’t know he would have been able to read it at all. Still, even supposing all of that, it stings a little that she reacted the way she did. He knows they’re not best friends or anything, but he thought she at least…

He shakes his head and turns around to go back to the office. Even if she weren’t acting all squirrely, he wouldn’t feel right about just dropping this case without so much as a background check on Haskell. And because she  _is_ , well… a background check might be just the beginning.

***

It’s like someone turned down the volume on the world. Or maybe it’s like she’s moving through water. Either way, she can hardly hear anything over the pounding of her pulse in her ears.

_Anyone with a trained eye can see that is a bizarre pregnancy._

The elevator doors open, and she moves on autopilot through the lobby to the second bank of elevators, which will take her down to the parking garage, all the while turning the last several minutes over and over in her mind. Keeping the panic at bay is a struggle. It’s not until she has unlocked her car and sat down behind the wheel that she takes several deep, full breaths. She fumbles for the dome light and pulls the ultrasound photo out of its envelope with barely-steady fingers.

Scully is no layperson, but neither does she have specialized training in reading ultrasonography. If she had been handed this image and told it was of her own baby, she wouldn’t have thought twice about it. So what is she missing? What about this is so egregiously irregular as to be classified “bizarre?” Is there really a chance she’s looking at a picture of an alien fetus? And if she is, how can she possibly know for sure that she’s not carrying something similar? Her pregnancy is feeling a lot less miraculous and a lot more terrifying with each passing moment.

_God, I wish Mulder were here._

_You and me both_ , he pipes up from a corner of her mind, and she takes another steadying breath.

Closing her eyes, she lets herself fall into the illusion, just for a minute. _It’s already hard enough doing this without you and now… now I’m afraid, and I don’t know what to do or where to turn._

_But you do know. You have to follow the evidence. Even if you’re afraid of where it might lead._

Zeus Genetics. As much as it terrifies her, it is absolutely true that the only logical course of action is to follow up there.

_It could still turn out to be nothing. Duffy Haskell could just be a grieving widower who’s invented a story to help himself cope._  The claim rings hollow even to her, but she needs something, anything, to hold on to right now.

_Only one way to find out._

She opens her eyes again and looks at the address on the envelope. Germantown. Setting the envelope on the seat, she reaches across to grab the Thomas guide out of the passenger side door. It’s probably because her brain is already primed with thoughts of him, but the smell of the paper and ink in the guide catapults her into a memory of sitting in her car in the freezing cold Pentagon City Mall parking garage, thumbing through this very book to figure out how she was going to get to the place Mulder asked to meet her in Upper Marlsboro. She still doesn’t know what exactly happened that night they went ghost hunting, but she does know she would give just about anything to be doing that instead of whatever she’s about to embark on right now.

_Amazing what you miss, huh?_

_I miss everything about you._

It doesn’t take long to find the location of Zeus Genetics and sort out her route. Setting the still-open guide beside her, she shuts off the dome light and starts the car.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Who’s that? In Agent Scully’s car.”_  
_“That I don’t know, Agent Doggett.”_

He has had just about enough of this.

He’s not an idiot; he can put two and two together. She tells him Parenti’s her doctor, and she expects him to believe she just happened to run out of the office, first thing in the morning, because she, what, had an appointment she forgot about? And neglected to mention? No, either she’s lying about not investigating the Haskells, or she’s got more than a passing personal connection to this case.

And now he’s supposed to take this unscheduled leave of absence at face value? No way.

This case is all about pregnant women -- alleged _former abductees_ , to boot -- whose lives are in danger. Agent Scully has been acting cagey since the word “go” on this, and now she’s as much as told him she’s going into hiding. How can he possibly draw any conclusion but the (admittedly unexpected) one that Agent Scully is herself pregnant?

Not that he can get any confirmation on that. Oh, Skinner knows, but there’s not a chance in hell that he’ll break her confidence, which Doggett can at least respect, even if he hates being kept in the dark. It’s not like he needs to know the details; how it happened, who the father is, that’s all her business. But as it pertains to this case, if she _is_ pregnant, it seems like pretty relevant information to have if he’s going to do his job effectively. After all, partners are supposed to look out for each other, aren’t they? So if there’s a particular reason she might be in more danger than usual here, it’d be nice if he were in the loop.

Instead, all he can do now is watch her walk away again, this time after she’s dragged him out of bed at three in the morning just so she could tell him she was leaving, and that’s not even the worst part. No, the worst part is that she still couldn’t bring herself to trust him enough to admit the truth about why. All this time, and she still doesn’t trust him. After everything they’ve been through together, he has to admit it feels just plain lousy. As pissed as he might be about how her choices are affecting his ability to do his job, on a personal level he’s more hurt than angry. Sure, there’s no denying they got off to a rocky start, all those months ago, but he would’ve thought he’s more than proven by now that he’s on her side.

He comes to a red light and stops, rubbing his eyes with a sigh. She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want him involved on this, and part of him wants to just throw his hands up and let her deal with the consequences. Lord knows he’s sick and tired of the games. The problem is, if she ends up actually getting hurt because he didn’t have her back, he’ll never forgive himself. 

So, what now? He’s got no hope of going back to sleep tonight, no partner for who knows how long, and no clue where to even begin if he’s going to try and help her. Officially, the case is as good as closed, though he supposes there’s nothing stopping him from continuing to look into Haskell’s claims from the perspective of earlier case files. See if there’s maybe some connection somewhere. Something, anything. Anything’s better than spinning his wheels being upset.

To the office, then. He’s got a change of clothes there and hours before there’s even a chance of someone coming in to bother him. And coffee. It may be terrible coffee, not half as good as the cup he never got to have at the diner just now, but he has a feeling he’s going to need it.

***

Skinner watches Agent Doggett drive away and shakes his head. He sympathizes with Scully’s caution; of course he does. But enough is enough. He meets her gaze through the windshield, but she looks away quickly. She has to know what a terrible position she’s put him in, having to continue keeping things from Doggett, especially given everything this case has brought to light. They could use his help, damn it. Maybe he should have pushed the issue.

Too late, now.

She pulls a u-turn off the curb, and he watches her tail lights recede into the distance. At least she’s going somewhere safe. It’s one less thing to worry about. (Well, one less thing to worry _much_ about.) Losing Mulder shook him in ways he still hasn’t fully recovered from, made him second-guess his abilities in the field and as a leader. He worries more than he used to, these days. Not that Mulder and Scully didn’t give him plenty to worry about, before, but for the sake of his own sanity he’d had to learn how to… not. That all changed the moment Mulder disappeared on his watch, and it’s only gotten worse with each day Mulder hasn’t returned. With every passing day, the effect of his error in judgment feels more permanent and devastating, and less like something he can make right if only he tries hard enough.

He owes it to Scully not to make things worse than they already are. He just wishes she had a little more faith in Agent Doggett. 

Skinner will be the first to admit that he neither liked nor trusted Doggett when he was merely Kersh’s errand boy, but things have changed. Doggett may still not believe the truth about Mulder’s abduction, but he’s clearly learning that nothing is as cut and dried as he once thought, particularly after what he saw and experienced in Pennsylvania. He’s shown himself to be committed to the X-Files, to taking the assignments seriously, no matter what his personal views might be. More than that, he does seem to genuinely care about Scully. The notion that he would betray her is completely absurd.

Then again, Scully wouldn’t even tell _him_ who that woman was. Skinner knows she is pregnant and in danger, and that is all. Scully’s playing everything so close to the vest, it’s hard to know how to help her.

He clenches his jaw and heads toward his own car. He’s done what he can, for now. He will do what she asked and continue to keep her secrets, but when this is all over, they need to have a serious conversation about bringing Doggett up to speed. She’s put it off long enough. It’s time.


	3. Chapter 3

_“I told you I’d help you. I said we’d find him.”_

Walking down the hallway outside her hospital room, he feels in part as if a weight has been lifted. The truth is out, she knows that he knows, and hopefully now they will be able to just move past it and get back to normal. (Or as close to “normal” as it’s ever been, working on the X-Files.)

He shouldn’t be surprised that it all comes back to Mulder. All the secrecy, all the lies, all of it because she was afraid of losing access. Of losing the ability to keep looking for Mulder. He still thinks it’s nuts that she thought just telling him would put all that in jeopardy, like he couldn’t keep a secret or the “powers that be” would just magically find out, but he gets it. Fear can make you think all kinds of crazy things, and there’s no question that Agent Scully is more than a little bit afraid of never finding Fox Mulder.

It’s just that he _told_ her he wasn’t gonna let that happen.

To be fair, despite the promises he’s made, he hasn’t really done a bang-up job so far of actually tracking the guy down. His only recent lead turned out to be a complete dead end. (Literally.) Without the full authority of an official FBI manhunt, there’s only so much he can do.

They need a break in this case so bad. Doggett’s not exactly the praying type -- he pretty much gave up on all of that after what happened with Luke -- but if he were, he’d be on his knees asking for anything at all to get them on the right track for solving this thing. 

***

In her hospital bed, one hand on her abdomen, Scully closes her eyes and prays.

She gives thanks that her baby is safe. That _their_ baby is safe. She asks forgiveness for putting Mary Hendershot in danger. Even though she thought she was doing the right thing, her instincts turned out to be all wrong this time, and it almost cost an innocent woman her life.

She _pleads_ for Mulder’s return.

She has tried so hard to be strong, to have faith that he will come back to her. Though his lies about his health have left the residual sting of betrayal in the pit of her stomach, she has worked through her anger, and all that remains is longing. Keeping that longing contained, keeping it from eating her alive, has grown exhausting. And now, after everything she’s just been through, her reserves of strength are nearly depleted. She needs him back. Please, God, she _needs_ him back.

She cannot fathom how she is going to cope if he never returns. Despite logic and reason telling her that she will find a way, in this moment she feels wholly incapable. How is she supposed to exist in a world that doesn’t have Mulder in it? She may have known how, once -- and even then he still existed, just outside her sphere -- but that knowledge has been lost to time, worn away by the years spent in his orbit. 

Months ago, he held her and told her to never give up on a miracle. That very miracle now rests beneath her palm, and she wants more than anything to be able to show him he was right. He believed, even when she lost hope, that this could some day come to be, and against all odds he was _right_. Now she needs to find the strength of his beliefs and apply that faith to another miracle, that of his return.

_Please bring him back to me. I’m so tired. I need him back._ We _need him. Please._

_Please._


End file.
